Talking Taboo: How This Influencer is Using Her Content to End The Stigma Around Sex
‘Imagine a world where all sexual experiences are consensual, safe, and pleasurable’ reads the Instagram bio of digital creator Leeza Mangaldas, who seeks to normalise conversations about gender and sexuality.
From openly talking about sex toys to demystifying ‘female pleasure’, the 30-year-old influencer from Mumbai breaks down sex in a way that is easy to understand for her audience across YouTube and social media. “I get so many messages from women and vulva owners saying they had their first orgasm because my content helped them figure out their own pleasure...that is just so gratifying for me,” she remarks.
At a crucial juncture in life, when Mangaldas was navigating her own sexuality during her undergrad days at Columbia University, she recalls that she was supported with adequate information and healthcare resources due to the judgment-free ecosystem that existed there. She herself was a resident advisor in college where part of her job was to talk about topics like consent and point students to where they could access resources like contraception.
For Mangaldas, the content she creates is simply a way to recreate this space online and help facilitate crucial conversations about the human body, sex, and sexuality amongst other aspects. It was upon her return to Mumbai in 2012 that she felt the need for a safe space to initiate such conversations without shame and judgment.
“In [Indian] schools, there may be one chapter on the reproductive system or one session where the girls and boys are separated and the girls are told about periods,” she says. “Even finding a gynecologist as a sexually active unmarried person whom you can turn to for information and support is difficult,” she adds. As a result of the stigma and shame attached to sex and sexuality, most young people live ‘double lives’, Mangaldas feels, and can’t be their authentic selves in front of their parents, doctors, and teachers, and this is exactly that void she aims to fill by making sex education more accessible.
Dismantling taboos surrounding sexuality
The journey to becoming a full-time content creator was not straightforward for Mangaldas. After returning from New York in 2012, she started off as a TV presenter. She was quick to realise that mainstream media platforms would only explore topics that brands would pay for and that if she wanted to discuss ‘shush topics’ like sex, she would need her own platform. In 2017, she started her YouTube channel as a passion project and today it has amassed over 4.5 lakh subscribers. Ranging from the concepts of virginity and sex-positivity to practical advice about birth control and menstruation, Mangaldas covers a whole gamut of otherwise silenced topics. But, creating content in this arena comes with its own disadvantages. “By default, sex ed content gets demonetised on YouTube as it’s not advertiser-friendly,” she says. YouTube demonetisation means when videos or channels lose their ability to earn advertising income. Using pictures of female nipples even for educational purposes is not possible on Instagram which often takes such posts down.
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Being on the internet as a woman is not easy, but being one who openly talks about sex can be an even tougher challenge. Mangaldas’ family is supportive of her outspoken and unconventional career path and she attributes her liberal upbringing to them for her confidence to speak out. She acknowledges that it was a privilege to grow up with open-minded parents with whom conversations around body and sexuality were never judged.
While trolling does sometimes come her way, the barrage of positive feedback she receives more than compensates for it. For many who have felt stifled their entire lives, her direct messages become a place of solace. From the thousands of messages that she receives, Mangaldas said that the most common thread is “Am I normal?”
“There’s so much shame prevalent in our culture that people are just so worried,” she says. Even within the limited knowledge that people have, most of it is centered around “penetration and penises” she explains. “Most women and vulva owners would struggle to correctly label a diagram of the vulva,” she says, adding that many do not realise that reaching climax through penetration alone is rare and that clitoral stimulation is key too. “Their sexuality is mysterious to them,” she shares pointing to the mainstream messaging that pleasure for women and vulva owners is ‘elusive.’ Mangaldas admits that till she learned and developed her own understanding, her own sexuality also seemed baffling.
While sex ed content is sufficiently available in English, Mangaldas has started to influence a needle shift in awareness through her Hindi content and is keen on creating more as she believes it’s necessary to make it more accessible and reach a wider audience.
Reflecting on what the future holds, Mangaldas remarked that she is eager to “pass the mic.”
As a cisgender, heterosexual woman, she does not want to let her own perspective restrict her and hopes to collaborate with others from different identities and backgrounds to provide a platform for a more diverse range of voices. “I have so much to learn,” she concludes.
(Edited by Amrita Ghosh)
